I was at war. The rivalry I found myself in had nothing and everything to do with me, all at the same time. I had been catapulted into a battle between the blue sky and the orange core, the heavens and the earth, light and darkness. I was being violated emotionally, physically and spiritually. Day turned to night, dusk turned to dawn with each and every passing day giving a rise to fear. I am a child of the soil, a ray of light and my source of light stemmed from the word. Every night I would sing praises, pray and read the word. I would place the bible verse under my pillow and I would allow it to carry me, in a literal and figurative sense. Each word healed me, solace and peace sustained me. I was intentional about creating a space where I could hear God's voice. The word was in sync with my beating heart; it raised the vibrational frequency of my spirit.
My conversation with God started off with a weakened heart, "don't let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat," [Psalms 25:2] I wailed. I was in desperate need of guidance, "show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow," [Psalms 25:4]. Distress had become my second name, "the ropes of death surrounded me; the floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death itself stared me in the face," [Psalms 18:4-5]. But my tears were not in vain and my cries did not fall onto deaf ears cause soon after, "the earth quaked and trembled; the foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of the Lord's anger. Smoke poured from God's nostrils, fierce flames leaped from Ramasedi's mouth; glowing coals flamed forth from Mvelinqangi. [S]He opened the heavens and came down" [Psalms 18:7-9]. "[S]He reached down from heaven and rescued me; [S]He drew me out of deep waters," [Psalms 18:16]. God affirmed me, "but now, O [Lerato], listen to the Lord who created you. O [Africa], the one who formed you says: 'Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.'" [Isaiah 43:1-2].
In prayer and petition Ramasedi consistently lifted me up. God's sweet words and gentle touch mended my heart and slowly pieced together my faith. In stillness I spoke; in stillness I listened. [S]He created a safe space for me, "you can lie down without fear and enjoy pleasant dreams,"[Proverbs 3:24]. [S]He pledged peace, "I will make a covenant of peace with them and drive away the dangerous animals from the land. Then my people will be able to camp safely in the wildest places and sleep in the woods without fear. I will cause my people and their homes around my holy hill to be a blessing. And I will send showers, showers of blessings, which will come just when they are needed,"[Ezekiel 34:25-26].[S]He summed up all the conversations we had each night, "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world,"[John 16:33]...the battle has already been won!
God taught me that the peace that surpasses all understanding is the greatest tool when in battle. At first glance, it may not appear so cause its silent and its still. In between bible verses I would also listen to podcasts that resonated with my spirit. On Super Soul Sessions, the words of a guest on the show illuminated my spirit when he said "we are vibrational beings; we cannot attract what we're not willing to become vibrationally". I started seeking the vibrational frequency of peace and meditated on it. I became the peace I wanted to see whenever I closed my eyes. And within that peace there was an undeniable knowing that whatever happened in the darkness of the night, I had the creator of light Ramasedi and [S]He would save me.
Comments